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Thursday, September 2, 2010

"ME-TIME" or "Mother" ??

This is more than a blog, This is written to you Rekha, specifically to you. I remember our hundred thousand conversations, when I told you how much I aspire to live alone, to cherish that space, that absolute ME-TIME, that melancholy of coffee and a book.., to be with myself. Its a lie Rekha. I will not call it a lie, because I did not lie to you but thats what I presumed that I liked but the truth is what I realised only yesterday. It is not as long as it does not hit you, you are lucky, but when the vacum hits is when we trip and fall. 

I have also realised, no matter how much you engage yourself and however busy you could have been in that "ME-TIME", You would not want to indulge in any of it if you are hit by that vacum. I think this is one point in time when you might also want to thank God for your job, no matter how hectic it is, for it is the only thing that can take your mind off the pain of missing someone. 

As an after thought, I think the same thing happens to tiny tots who gets to school for the first time of their lives, and that may what happens to  little children when they have to leave their grandparent's after a summer vacation, possibly the same thing to young adults possibly when they fall in love. 

And that very thing happened to me, When my mother left from here.  Mom made her stay very very special. I missed her in every thing right from the time I reached back home after seeing her off at the airport. I was quite okay until we saw her off, but it hit me when we reached home, right from the time we unlocked the door. Missed her, during dinner and after that when earlier, she massaged my back for the back pain after dinner. This morning, when I had to leave for work.. I missed her when she used to come down along with me in the lift till the parking till she saw me off at the gate, and today there was no one with me. Am not talking about the good homely food for breakfast, lunch and dinner but am talking about those special things that only Mothers are capable of..and thats how she was capable of creating that void.

No wonder, there are so many poets who has chosen Mothers to write about..I just want to conclude as words don't express how much she means to me, the truth remains that Mothers are special and with mothers around you may not want the "Me-Time".