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Thursday, October 8, 2009

I realise my blog has been inactive for sometime and no prizes for guessing, There has been so much happening that I found myself hardpressed for time to post my voice here. But I did learn one thing, if you dont voice when you have to, You will loose the intensity of it so much so that you can never voice about the same thing again until you feel the same intense experience again, where the chances are too slim that you feel so deeply about the same instance.

Having learnt it the hard way, I do not wish to waste much time but head straight to the point that marriage is not a cake walk and more so true in India, (Country with more Male Chauvnists than one can imagine. ) and if you think am married, let me confess, Not Yet!

Until a few days ago, I thought inspite of similar cultural and religious backgrounds there is bound to be conflicts due to those little differences, where some could be resolved with accomodation, and some with compromise, While resolving a few by demanding, and a few others by requesting. But if the woman in Question is reasonably balanced with her emotions and still feels the weight of it, then it could be worse for a lot others. Just as much as I hate to be a feminist, It would not come as a surprise if I received mails saying it seemed to have a feminist inclination. But the fact of the matter is it gets complicated when one goes an extra mile and one more and another and yet another while the other does not even inch. It could be horrendeous when the milestones dont even get noticed, let alone be acknowledged.

What a shame to be married to the customs, rituals and the family but least to the man in the marriage! And what an indignity to put up a smiling face amongst these practices while one is feeling miserable. Yeah, you have to do it for your family, for his family and least of all is you or the way you feel! What a humilation to be born a Woman in a man's world of customs and rituals and practices!!

Monday, August 3, 2009

To My Friends

Nopes! am not gung-ho and stuck up with Mark Twain. It is just that I did stop my previous blog with him so I want to start this with his note on Friends. And Yes! In case you guessed it, you must have guessed it right and full marks to you if you know am talking about friendship day.


So I will borrow Mark Twain's lines -


"When we think of friends, and call their faces out of the shadows, and their voices out of the echoes that faint along the corridors of memory, and do it without knowing why save that we love to do it, we content ourselves that that friendship is a Reality, and not a Fancy--that it is builded upon a rock, and not upon the sands that dissolve away with the ebbing tides and carry their monuments with them."- Letter to Mary Mason Fairbanks .

Its debatable if we need to have a friendship day or not. If one argument can be made that friendship in itself is a celebration why celebrate on just one day, if friendship is beyond celebration and merry making, to pass through the rough patch why just one day of the year? As a counter argument, one can say that one day of the year to observe a day to wish that friend, to thank that friend, to recall the times with that friend, to having been there with that friend, to having had that friend with you, through the thick, through the thin, for the joys, for the sorrows, to revel in it for one day, to remind oursleves how lucky one can be what a difference friends make in ones life is reason enough to observe friendship day.

Questions and thoughts apart on a dedicated day, the fact of the matter is that good friends are life's best gifts. But each is left to his or her discretion to want this day or not. If Mutalik has his own thoughts and reasons to say "NO FRIENDSHIP DAY" we shall respect his decision, however, If he is imposing the youth about his views It is no fair deal. Mutalik needs to realise we are a social, secular nation with freedom of expression.

For some, it may just be an excuse to have some fun, for others it might mean introspection, Introspection on how friends stood by, who stood by and who left?, Introspection to realise why God brought few people together who are not anyways linked either by caste, colour, creed or sex. An introspection to thank God for bringing them in our lives, An introspection to wish them all well because they mean to you.

This is not to make a big deal of Mutalik or his Sene but to clear the air why this piece of writing comes just after friendship day. Because this day means to me, because there are many days when I sit back and think many more days when I don't !! But this day, I made a special effort and I realised how much more beautiful my life is.. just because of those few friends.

Thank you God! Thank you friends!! Just a humble thank you!!!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Clothes make a man

While I browsed for "THE QUOTABLE MARK TWAIN " edited by R. Kent Rasmussen, hoping to order it from Amzon.com I happened to read through some of his quotes. As always, it continues to amaze his readers no matter how many times ever they read them. It is a different thing how many of us have had an opportunity to read all his quotes because it can be a volume by itself given that he has observations about diverse subjects but even the often read ones don't stop to amaze you when you read them again.
But this one Quote did more than amaze me this time, it left me wondering!! It is this Quote "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society." which set my mind ticking. I began to Wonder If it was as straight forward or was it satirical?
Today, I think Less is more! The lesser the clothing, the higher the demand, the lesser the clothing, the expensive it gets, the lesser the clothing, the higher the influence...!?!
Now, as much as I hate to take examples I 'd want to take them.
As Bollywood has come of age, so also our actors and actresses. All the elegantly clad suits, ties, cufflinks and the six yard classic saree have stuck to the wardrobes. Shorts, skirts and hot pants seem to be making more waves than the indegineously built N-submarine "Arihant".
If Salman's brawn, Sharukh's Six Pack, Aamir's Abs and John's body and Malika's curves, Raakhi's clevage, Bipasha's legs and Kareena's waist is on a display then Isn't less more?
If Murder, Race, Tashn and Dostana made more news than H1N1 did, then isn't "LESS" the more in demand??
If the humble brassiers and boxers cost you more than your full length salwar, Kameez and Duppatta together, then isn't less more expensive???
If Indian Airline's and Jet Air way's Saree clad hostesses made way for the Jet Airway's skirt clad and Kingfisher's petite dress clad counter parts, If Sania Mirza's on court dress made more waves than her on court games, if Ganguly's shirt pull out on the field captured more newspaper columns than India's position on terrorism, If Mandira Bedi's blouse brought more people glued to their TV sets and If Akshay Kumar's Levis fly unbotton episode made a splash in pulling the crowds, If John has all the girls drool over him in the shortest of his boxer and if more men are downloading the less clad Aishwarya and If ads with "LESS" sell more than ads with "MORE", If the swimsuit calendars are making it to office workstations should we say "Lesser the clothes, Higher the influence.."?
I recall Byron's Quote "Manners maketh a man" while I believe Twain's Quote that Clothes make a man must be made on deliberation. If Mr.Twain was with us today to witness the "Less is more" I wonder, what sequel Quote would he have given us...!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Driving EXperience of a lifetime!

Phew !! Some people would have lost the child in them while they grow up, And some others seem to never grow up! The rare breed is the set who fool themselves to think they have grown up while they have neither grown up nor would have they retained the child in them.

It is this rare breed that indulges in certain activities which becomes a part of their life. Their essence of life is driven by this indulgence. (not referring to occassional indulgence but it is what keeps them on). There are multiple categories within this breed. For instance, The indulgence in one category would be booze, the indulgence in for the another category would be hopping parties. The indulgence in the other categories could include women/men, accquistion and accumulation of wealth irrespective of the source-legal or illegal, chain smoking, gossiping etc.
For this rarest of the species, they seem to never grow up with their indulgence and in order to indulge they loose the child in them
As an adoloscent, it could be curiosity. As one grows up it becomes an Experience, then it turns to enjoyment and then the realisation of the fact to realise bigger better valuable things of life like relationships, values, ideologies, happiness and God. When one never gets to experience the bigger things is what I term as "not being able to grow up." .

hmm.. I was prompted to write this on how some people thrive in certain indulgences just to be counted in, Just to show cause they have arrived.. what a wannabe what a waste...
But I want to call it off now... !! I am not very disposed to write this today. But Am posting it since this has been lying in draft ever since.
This incomplete draft kept me away from being able to write anything else..So I post this to make way for other posts on its way . :)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Marriage- The Million Dollar Concern

For a quick introduction, I would like to introduce myself as a 29 yr old girl. I like it when am called a lady. I dont know if am good looking or not. I must have looked at myself in the mirror and have thought a dozen times that am pretty, and half a dozen times as beautiful while there are another dozen times that I have not thought that am not pretty but have thought if I could have looked fairer, or if I could have had a broader fore head or perhaps that I might look flawless if there could be no blemishes at all.
I have this very handsome friend whose profession is photography. He has done a lot of assignments on wildlife and nature but has refrained himself from doing Model photography. Having believed that Sushmita Sen is the one of the most sensational, most beautiful women that I can ever think of, I had collected some of her pictures and I shared the same with this friend of mine.
He appreciated it but said it was digitally touched. He explained to me that for various shoots there are various make-ups that one would rely upon and also that these pictures would be digitally touched. He agreed with me that indeed she is one of the most beautiful women but disagreed with me that anyone can be so flawless and it is human to have some minute blemishes, unless it is Cleopatra because he has not really seen her. Long after this was a forgotten instance, I have recieved enough compliments about my looks that after one such compliment, I suddenly remembered this friend of mine and I asked him if he could shoot some pictures where I could look, if not equally stunning as Ms Sen but if I could look ethereal enough and he instantly asked me if I should need this for a matrimonial alliance.
If that was on the positive note on my appearance quotient, There are times when one can find me clumsy, gloomy, unkempt and dull when am on an all-time low. It is acceptable for me when some one says I am not beautiful on these occassions. But what is not comprehensible to me is when on the same day some one thinks am as close to surreal, someone else thinks am not anywhere close to even fairly ok. So I would now leave it to you to decide how I look.
If that was about my appearance, The other things from a reader's perspective that you might need to know is the fact that am not married.
This fact concerns my folks like my parents, my siblings and a few others. I am not married because I never found the right guy as yet.
My parents today took me to a groom and bride convention. (for those who dont understand this, it is a forum where the prospective grooms and brides assemble at a forum where they would charged a nominal fee for this service and in a sequence one after the other everybody does a self introduction along with it, the contact numbers are provided). I felt so miserable in that gathering. In case, If you thought I was feeling shy to do a intro there, let me clarify I was not. I have addressed larger gatherings and I have always been at ease so doing one round of self Intro here was not difficult at all.

I found that all those(ok let me correct it, it would be wrong to say all, most of the boys and girls) who assembled there seemed like a farce to me. To be all that they were not. Boys who were jerks trying to be the most amicable men, Girls who came across as the ideal bahu from one of the leading soaps of Indian Television. If I could analyse for you, the leading profession that emerged from here was the Software Engineering profession. Every body wanted a software engineer for a spouse. It sounded so much like a commodity,(with all due respects to every one who works as a Software Engineer or that stream) they thought it was most gifted to be an SE. To make things worse, they chose to speak English and I was feeling suffocated to listen to them speaking in an Erratic english. (For those of you who follow Kannada, I take this liberty to say this "Thames nalli thika toludu bandiro hage ittu".) I failed to understand why they did not speak their mother toungue when there was no much ado about their English. It was a mockery of the whole affair.
Just like to narrate one of the instances here - A girl whose age I quite dont remember began her Intro with her name and Date of Birth. She then proudly proclaimed "...I am ae Softwarre Enngineeear woRking for EDS..." The organisers, for the benefit of the gathering asked her what EDS was? and what kind of business they were into?
And pat came her reply along with a shrug of her shoulders " EDS!... EDS!.. EDS meeeeens Electronic Data Systems before it was mphasis. Now it is take -over happen by HP...So EDS is an MNC. so I work for an MNC" (I must appreciate her pride about her employer. If all employees were to be her, There would be no attrition or minimal attrition and all employers would be No 1 employer)
Then, there were some software engineers who were afflicted with the "so" syndrome while there were other Software Engineers who were severely afflicted with the "basically" syndrome.
" So.., I completed my BE from this college.., So I am Software Engineer.., So I am looking for a girl who should be from software background, So..she can be any graduate or any Bsc or any msc or MCA.., so she may want to work or not work is her choice..so my contact details would be...., so any suitable person interested may contact this number...so thank you. Hmmm !!
If you sighed after the so speech, I better tell you it is not over yet!
Basically, I am from this place, but am working here, Basically am looking for a good looking girl, basically she should be from software field, even if any other field am ok.... basically this is my contact number...
If Shakespeare did listen, He would wake up from his grave!
The pain was killing me and it did not end there. There was a father of the girl(for some reason the girl could not make it to the convention and her father did the intro on her behalf) "We are looking for a boy, he should be BE, even diploma also no problem, even Graduation no problem. He should be a Software engineer, Even any other job no problem, even lecturer no problem. ..."
This no problem guy seemed to be my problem.
Anyways, I seem to have gone on a tangent with people's english speaking afflictions and problems.My parents question was if I found a match..? Ahhemm...! There were a few guys who I did think were good. Now some of these guys were nerds while some others of these looked like they were fed on ego!
Is it worth at all? One of my friends once said "you have to kiss a few frogs before you kiss a knight..." While I was at the forum, I thought about the saying in England "All good ones are either gone or they are gay!" I am now left to ponder which one of it is true?!?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

E-mail Etiquette

I would like to dedicate this piece of my writing to my best friend, if only it makes her feel any better because she was so disppointed with one of the official E-mails she recieved yesterday, . Courtesy, her colleague who writes her an entire mail in the subject line.
I may not have the statistical data but am sure there would be a number of hits on google, on msn and various other search engines for a few tips on E-mail etiquette. Probably if i could present the statistics to her colleague and few others like him who are a league on their own, then they could take a leaf out of it and jog their memories to be more courteous before it becomes a forgotten story.
It makes me wonder that if some of these guys as they make a vertical growth, do they unlearn all the basic courtesies? It makes me wonder what goes wrong or where could it go so wrong, that they suddenly would loose all basics. Am curious, if they think that it is uber cool or if they believe it is an in thing or does it leave them with a sudden sense of power for having lost on all the essential mannerisms?
In order to keep her identity confidential, I would choose a fancy name for her(not too often do i get a chance to choose some fancy names) so I call her Likita. And she works for an IT organisation, a not a big wig but a mid size organisation. In her exact words " ... it is an oxymoron. It is the most disorganised organisation that I work for..." I have quoted her here to brief the reader about an introduction to her organisation that she works for.

Now for a quick description on the mail she recieved, the subject of the e-mail has the content of the entire e-mail and the body of the e-mail is opened only to find it blank.
No we are not talking about the greetings, salutations or a quick hi before you begin the content of the e-mail. it cannot get any better than keeping it blank. It is acceptable and understandable if you have the liberties within certain circles where you converse straight to the point, plunge headlong without a hi or a hello. But it is most demeaning and disrespectful to mark the rest of the organisation while writing to a fellow colleague addressing the person on the subject line of the E-mail and keeping the body of the e-mail blank.

What a shame it is on one's part to not know how to write an e-mail, let alone be able to distinctly write to managers, fellow-colleagues, subordinates, friends and families. It is time they taught their kids about it, if not, it is high time they pick up a Wren and Martin for their Letter Writing or should the publishers custom edit Wren and Martin for e-mail writing for our challenged colleagues at work?

Perceptions

I happened to attend a knowledge sharing session today. It was no doubt interesting. In course of the session to hold the class's attention, the speaker asked this question "A man bought a cow for Rs 100/- and sold it for Rs 200/-.He again bought the cow for Rs 300 and sold it for Rs 400. So, All in all how much was the net profit or net loss that the man made. The answers varied from a profit of Rs. 200 , profit of Rs 100, break-even to Loss of Rs. 100, loss of Rs 200. For a single question multiple answers were provided.

In the session my answer was break even, when I came out of the session and posed the same question to my colleague I had worked out an answer that he made a loss of Rs 100. The second time around I posed this question to another of my colleague my answer had changed to a profit of Rs.200.

The thought he was driving home was that perceptions vary and hence the wide and varied answers. The perception here could be the interpretation of the Question. Ahemm! must say it was an interesting session.

I learnt from him that he had poised this Question to multiple sections of audience from a class of IIM students to high school students but the answers always varied and I realised it would continue to vary!

I think these myriad ways of thinking, the multiple ways we perceive anything makes this world so special that each one of us is different from the other. Our own being, our own thoughts cannot remain the same and this makes us special as human beings. Marvellous is the creation of the God, who has created these millions and millions each different from the other

Monday, July 13, 2009

A tribute to Michael Jackson


The world knows him. He needs no introduction. In a country like mine, We have extremes of good and bad, Humility and arrogance, worlds most richest to abject poverty. There are people who have grown up with pub culture and pop music while there is another set of people who have no idea what pop is or what Reggae is! Despite this severe distinction there is no denying of the fact that Michael Jackson is a household name. Access to music or not, Knows no artists nor the tracks, Have no clue as to what is a guitar or what bass is but yet they knew MJ.I have grown up having listened to some of his tracks. His tracks had enormous energy. One could feel his music, his rythm, it could tug at your strings of the heart. Especially numbers like "will you be there..", " Heal the world.." One could loose oneself while they listened to tracks like " The way you make me feel.." or "Black or White.." I have grown up without being anyone's fan. I was not an MJ Fan either but it pained me the most to see how everybody wanted to piggy ride on his fame, name money and success. Suddenly, after his death it looked like everybody shared a relation with him. Let alone after his death, even while he was alive they killed him mercilessly with all those accusations and allegations. It is a different story whether he was acquitted or not but what concerns me is the trauma he went through while he was alive.
I have seen families disowning sons and daughters because they fell in love and married their spouses from other caste/communities. I have read fathers raping their own daughters. I have heard dreadful stories of husbands and inlwas disowning wives for having delivered girl babies. While this continues, there is a hue and cry about who is the genetic father of MJ's Kids? The fact that he loved and cared for his kids qualifies him enough to be a worthy father of those kids in this world of disinterested fathers!
And if only the so called tabloids did not have to publish whacky things to push the sales of their tabloids they would not have called him whacko jacko. How could any body stoop to get this derogatory without even a second thought on humantiarian sensitivities. If there was any thing eccentric about MJ it was upto him what he did with it. All of us have been eccentric at certain times. After All, there is a streak of insanity among all genuises and he was one of them.
It is indeed sad if he was hooked to addictive drugs and sedatives by professionals who are so called Doctors. It is even more sad to see some channels encashing on his death by broadcasting something as ridiculous as possible in the name of his Ghost. The least one can do is atleast allow him to rest in peace, if they did not let him leave in peace.
It is high time we respect the person he was. It is high time we be grateful for the kind of music he gave us. It is high time we let him be him. It is high time we pray for his soul to rest in peace.
God Bless!